Have you ever been told that you are intimidating? Or that you are too much? Have you ever been uncomfortable for speaking up for yourself? Do you ever wonder how she got so confident? Do you ever wonder if she even cares about what other people think about her?
Confidence is like a muscle. It can be improved over time, and it definitely is something that needs to be actively worked on. You might find that you have confidence in your role in friendships but maybe not in the workplace. You might have confidence in new social settings but not in confrontation. There are many ways that confidence can be enhanced, and I believe the first place to really cultivate that confidence comes from within and to truly own who you are as a woman.
What does it mean to own your womanhood then? Below I have listed five tips that I use in my own life and with my clients in order to create space for acknowledging that you are powerful and enough just as you were created. You have everything that you need already inside of you, and it is time to get out of your own way and let that inner light shine! So, let’s get right into it:
1. Be unapologetically yourself: you are the only you. God created you uniquely to fulfill a divine purpose that He created specifically for you. Sure, there might be someone else out there doing what you do, but nobody can do it the way you do. A woman who is unapologetically herself does not place her value or identity in anything except the One who made her. You owe nothing to anybody. You do not have to explain yourself to anybody. You get to be exactly who God created you to be and there is nothing sweeter than that.
2. Know your worth and value: never settle for anything less than what you deserve. Have you been mistreated in the past? Have you experienced feeling less than? Have you been taken advantage of, stabbed in the back, cheated on, or let down? Take all those moments and use them as a learning point in your life to propel you forward. You have value and you are worthy. Those experiences do not define who you are. Owning your womanhood means that you know exactly who you are and Whose you are. You do not settle for anything less than God’s best for your life.
3. Establish connection with yourself and your creator: how deeply do you know yourself? I mean like, really know who you are? What are your needs, wants and desires? Do you tell God about them? When you know exactly what you want and desire in your life, it helps you own who you are even better. There is less room for wasting your time on things that don’t align with your future. Sure, sometimes you have to grind and hustle in areas that might not feel like you are in alignment with them, but each season like that has purpose. When you have a deep relationship with yourself and the Lord, nothing is impossible.
4. Be educated about your body: this one is KEY. Do you know how to properly take care of your body? Do you understand why is it unique and what is amazing about being female? Are you comfortable talking about it (by it I mean vaginas, periods, hormones, emotions and dare I say it, sex)? Knowledge is power. How do you expect the men in your life to understand your biology if you don’t even know the first thing about it? I cannot express how empowering it is to intimately know and understand your anatomy and physiology. To know exactly when your period is coming, what happens in each phase and why it makes you feel a certain way. Everything about your cycle tells you something about your overall health and well-being, and we will get more into that next week don’t you worry, but understand this: you are the only person who knows your body. You have to be an advocate for yourself. Respect your body by being educated about it so that you can fuel it and care for it properly so that you can be an empowered woman who owns who she is. Having a period and a vagina is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, and it is time to change the dialogue about these topics.
5. Empower others: a woman who is confident in herself does not put down other women. Community is vitally important. You should surround yourself with people who push you to be better. Your inner circle should lift you up, not tear you down. You should have a community of people who hold you accountable, challenge you, love you and support you. You should be proud of who you are and know that at the end of the day, a win for you is a win for your community and other like-minded women. We are not in competition with one another, and a woman who owns her womanhood celebrates instead of comparing herself to others.
Here’s the thing: when you own who you are, you become unstoppable. Confidence is sexy. Education is sexy. A woman who loves herself is sexy. It is time to own your womanhood. It is time to take the power back into your own hands. Who is the woman that you want to be? Are you showing up as her? What do you need to do in your life right now to own your womanhood?
I’m no woman…obviously, but you do make some excellent points. A lot of what you said unfortunately doesnt get talked about or gets lost amongst the noise in the type of society we all live in. One thing out of the few that I took away from your post is “Knowing yourself and knowing your Creator”. This is something I believe tends to get lost quite often. It’s all well and good becoming more in tune with who you are as an individual, albeit man or woman, but not taking the time to become more intimately close to the One who weaved and knit you carefully and intentionally, can really undercut it’s TRUE benefits.
Great points Kelsey! Looking forward to more!