Once upon a time at the gym, a young girl about 16, just came right up to me and complimented my quads. She said they were amazing. My first reaction was discomfort. You see, as someone who has always struggled to love her legs, it has not always been easy to take a compliment for them. I told her thank you and explained how much that meant to me. She was surprised that I didn’t always like my legs and told me how she wished hers were bigger like mine.
As we stood there talking, she expressed how hard it is to eat enough to gain weight. She was trying to grow, to gain weight intentionally. It made me recall how different it was from my experience as a teenager. You see, sixteen year old Kelsey was concerned with how little she could eat in order to lose weight. I told this girl how proud of her I was that she is in the gym working hard, because I know what the opposite of that looks and feels like.
This whole interaction got me thinking: Imagine how the world would be if complimenting and encouraging others was cultivated at a younger age instead of young minds thinking that comparison is the answer.
I mean comparison is everywhere. It is something that becomes ingrained in us at such a young age. Whether it is your clothes, shoes, hair, financial status, follower count, boyfriends/girlfriends – there is a constant force that you have to fight against to just exist and not compare yourself to someone else.
It’s all a lot of noise and some days it seems to be getting louder. All that to say, it makes me proud to see a generation of younger women in the gym working hard on themselves to grow and be stronger. To want more for their body and potential as a human. To learn something new about their bodies and how to care for it best. To actually cultivate love for themselves rather than try to shrink themselves to fit in or be pretty and well-liked.
I just want to encourage anyone who is still reading that you can do hard things. You can get into the gym and make a difference. Not just on your body but on your mind, and that’s the good stuff.
You are worthy of taking up space in the gym and in life.
Keep going.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Keep working on yourself, for yourself.
Keep pursuing self-love.
It is never too late to unlearn the self-hate that was once part of your history. Your legs are powerful. Your legs are beautiful, and you deserve to love them for all that they are.